


You wanna be friends forever? I can think of something better.

by heath_bar17



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2019-08-19 13:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16535561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heath_bar17/pseuds/heath_bar17
Summary: Kelley hears about the so'hara ship and suggests milking it to "give the people what they want" to Emily. What could possibly go wrong?





	1. The Proposition

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> I am completely procrastinating on both my homework and the Just Peachy fic and decided to start another story! SUPRISE! I hope you guys aren't sick of my writing yet. I read that someone wanted this storyline written a while ago and finally got the motivation. Please be nice (I've had a rough week...yes, I know it's only Monday) but if you hate it, write a very nicely worded comment that will cushion the blow :)

Emily glanced down the street at a small and rather hipster coffee house. She could feel the smile spread across her face: _bingo_. She and Lindsey had been wandering around the Salt Lake City for fifteen minutes in the search for a café. By now, Emily could feel the sweat drip down her lower back and she pulled her long blonde hair up into a ponytail. Despite the fact that it was only early June, the humidity created a heavy, sticky feeling that seemed to wrap her in a blanket. The elbow that nudged her left side told her that Lindsey had also noticed the coffee shop.

 

Lindsey slowed her pace and turned to look at Emily. “Sonny, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

 

A large smile had spread across Emily’s face that pulled up to her eyes.

 

“Avocado toast!” Emily and Lindsey nearly yelled at the same time. A group of teenage girls nearby stopped talking to give them a quizzical look which only made them laugh more.

 

They were both relieved to see that the line to order was short. Once in line, Emily made sure they had avocado toast and then she let her eyes wander to pass the time.  Sitting across the small café was Kelley, completely engrossed by the book in her hand. Emily couldn’t fight the smile and, as if on cue, Kelley looked up like she could sense someone staring at her. She glanced up from her book and saw two fit blonde girls waiting to order. Lindsey was focused staring at the menu even though Kelley knew that the pair were going to order what they always do. Emily, on the other hand, was smiling and gave a small wave. A light dusting of pink showed on her cheeks at the realization she had been caught staring. _Cute,_ Kelley thought, _wait! Not cute, not cute! Teammate._ After they placed their order, they made their way over to Kelley’s table.

 

“Mind if we join?” Lindsey asked.

 

“Yes.” Kelley scrunched up her face. “Wait, I mean no. No, I don’t mind. Yes, to you joining. I always mess up that question!” Kelley rolled her eyes at herself, _why am I like this,_ she thought. Emily and Lindsey started laughing. Lindsey sat down across to Kelley and Emily took the vacant seat next to Kelley. Kelley wouldn’t allow herself even a second to dwell on the fact that the simple action made her a little happy.

 

Emily started sipping on her iced coffee. “I am happy to report we have officially completed our mission.”

 

Lindsey reached across the table and high-fived Emily just in time for the barista to bring two plates of avocado toast.

 

“I knew that’s why you guys came here. I could have told you the best place. Remember, I actually live here.” Kelley said.

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Lindsey replied.

 

Emily didn’t hesitate and began to eat her toast, savoring every bite. Kelley decided she was going to have to carry the conversation since the other two were scarfing down their breakfast.

 

“So, I heard the darnest thing.” Kelley started which earned her a quizzical look for Emily.

 

“Hm?” was all Lindsey was able to respond with a mouthful.

 

Kelley gave a megawatt smile, “Move over Christen and Tobs, there is a new ship taking off!”

 

Lindsey and Emily stopped eating to squint at Kelley. “I feel like I should be concerned with the fact that there is a new ship and that you seem so excited by it.” Emily made air quotes around the word “ship.”

 

“You should be excited!” Kelley started to dance a little in her seat. “Why wouldn’t you want to be shipped with me?”

 

Lindsey started laughing and Emily sat her with her mouth hanging open slightly. She didn’t know why but her stomach did a little summersault at the idea which she chose to ignore.

 

“Huh?” Emily managed.  She could feel her cheeks getting red.

 

Kelley giggled. “Oh relax, it’s just ‘cause we hang out so much. Plus, I mean we would totally make a hot couple.”

 

“I…what...we?” Emily wanted to kick herself for how inarticulate she had become. She couldn’t even explain why, which frustrated her even more. Why did it matter if people paired them together; she always thought the idea of shipping people was kind of fun. 

 

“Awh, Em…they ship us.” Kelley playfully slid her arm around Emily’s shoulder.

 

Emily gave Kelley a deadpan expression in an attempt to hide a small smile. “I blame you for this. I mean really, that couples massage video!”

 

“Hey, why don’t they ship us?” Lindsey waved her hand between Sonnett and herself.

 

Kelley let out a loud laugh that earned them a side eye from two men at a nearby table. “You guys are bros! And straight. You need at least one gay or possibly queer girl to really have a ship take off.”

 

“We can make it happen.” Sonnett sent a wink and an exaggerated kissing face towards Lindsey.

 

Lindsey shook her head, the end of her ponytail hitting her in the side of the face each time. “Never mind, changed my mind. I’m friend zoning you.”

 

“Wow. Two hard rejections in a matter of a few weeks.” Emily joked but her two friends grew serious.

 

“Sonny, are you sure you’re good?” Kelley asked, placing a warm hand on Emily’s arm and suddenly her hands felt clammy for some reason.

 

Emily looked directly into Lindsey’s blue eyes and then attempted to look into Kelley’s eyes but settled for a quick glance at her freckled face. “It was no big deal. I met him on Tinder, so I really shouldn’t have been surprised to run into him at a bar with his actual girlfriend.” Emily shrugged her shoulders.

 

Lindsey bit her bottom lip, “Yeah but you guys must have clicked to go out of several dates.”

 

“It’s no big deal.” Emily said, and she truly meant it. The shock of being caught in an awkward situation with Mark and his girlfriend was just so uncomfortable. She was just mad at him for making her feel like she was overstepping somehow. Things with him were lukewarm at best. Every time they kissed, her mind would go to other things like how his facial hair scratched her face, which she didn’t like, and occasionally bad soccer calls in a game she saw that day. Nothing about the situation set her world on fire; in fact, she had never really met a guy that seriously captivated her. Internally she had been freaked out over the fact she might be allergic to love, but played it off as if she was actually upset with the whole Mark situation.

 

“We should play it up! This would be even more of a reason to give the people what they want!” Kelley was nearly jumping out of her seat in excitement. Emily couldn’t fight the smile that played at her lips, Kelley’s energy was just so contagious.

 

“I’m not pretending to date you!” Emily threw her hands in the air.

 

“It could be fun just to joke around. And I never said anything about pretend dating…it would be more like exaggerating our current friendship.” Kelley gave Emily puppy dog eyes and pouted.

 

Lindsey joined in, “Yeah, get your mind off the little shit!”

 

Emily’s shot her an angry expression. “You can’t turn on me!”

 

“Oh come on. You always joke you’re gonna switch teams after you have a break up.” Lindsey crossed her arms to mimic Emily’s posture.

 

Kelley’s eyes lit up and she turned to give Emily a mischievous smile. “Come to the dark side. We have more fun.” Emily rolled her eyes at that statement and took a sip of her iced coffee. “We have way more orgasms.” Kelley added.

 

Emily nearly spat out her coffee and Lindsey swayed her head from side to side. “She’s got a point. Sometimes I really wished I liked girls.”

 

They both turned to look at Emily for a response but instead she sat there wiping the coffee from her chin.

 

“Don’t worry, I was totally joking Em, I just thought it would be something fun to do. Anne might be willing to share though….” Kelley added and laughed at her own joke.

 

Just then, Kelley felt arms wrapped around her shoulders. For a split second, Kelley thought she saw Emily tense up, but it must have been her imagination. Kelley smiled and turned her head to give her girlfriend quick peck on the lips.  


“Hey you.” Kelley said, slightly confused about why her girlfriend was holding onto her for so long.

 

“Hi, beautiful,” Anne replied and gave Kelley a sloppy kiss on the cheek. She remained holding onto Kelley in a slightly possessive way. Emily eyed the pair and the way Anne seemed to stake her territory and looked away quickly. She didn’t know why but she could feel bile start to rise in her throat. Lindsey made eye contact with Emily from across the table as she pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows. Emily bit back her smile, slightly relieved that her reaction to Anne’s presence bothered others. There was just something about the way that Anne always tried to tame Kelley, rolling her eyes at her attics in a motherly way that rubbed Emily in the wrong way. It seemed as if the feelings were mutual for Anne as well.

 

Anne finally let go of Kelley long enough to pull back her light brown hair over one shoulder. She looked at Kelley first and gave Emily a quick side glance when she asked. “What can I share?”

 

Kelley swallowed; her light hearted afternoon seemed to be dimming a little. Deep down, Kelley knew Anne would hate the idea of even joking about being in a relationship with Emily, let alone actually pretending to be.

 

“Oh.” Kelley’s eye widened and she sent a pleading look towards Lindsey and Emily.

 

“Kelley was just taking pity on Sonny’s broken heart and asked if she wanted to join you guys on your outing today.” Lindsey casually said.

 

Anne raised one eyebrow and looked at Emily for confirmation. She felt entirely off kilter so Emily just nodded her head slowly.

 

The air hung tense for several long seconds as the three waited for Anne’s response. “Oh hun, that’s rough.” She patted Emily lightly on the shoulder, careful not to make more than minimal contact. “It’s a shame. Maybe another day.” Anne wrapped her skinny arm over Kelley. “I had some other…” Anne gave Kelley a salutary look, “…more private things in mind for today.”

 

_Yes,_ Emily snapped her lips together tightly at the thought, _that was definitely bile rising in her throat_.

 

Kelley looked generally confused. She looked at Anne and squinted her eyes, trying to understand the turn of events. “Um…I thought we were going to hike?” Kelley had a sinking suspicion that Anne’s sudden change in plans was due to her unreasonable jealousy of her friendship with Emily.

 

Anne gave Kelley a look that essentially said _what the hell._

 

Lindsey cleared her throat to cut through the tension in the air. “So, yeah. Em. We have to go do that thing.”

 

Emily stood abruptly, ready for any reason to leave. “Yes! My chiropractic appointment!”

 

Lindsey was in the process of standing from her chair and stopped to look at Emily with her mouth hanging open. Kelley covered her mouth to stifle at laugh at Emily’s ridiculous excuse.

 

Anne regarded Emily, “You have a chiropractor?”

 

Emily nodded her head vigorously. Lindsey now watched the exchange, eager to see where it was headed.

 

“In SLC?” Anne raised her eyebrow again.

 

Without hesitation, Emily nodded her head.

 

“And you couldn’t find one in Portland?” With Anne’s full attention on Emily and her back to Kelley, Emily could see Kelley shaking her head lightly with silent laughter.

 

Emily smiled slightly when she made eye contact with Kelley. “Yes! The best on this side of the Mississippi. His name is…” Emily drew out in a frantic attempt to come up with a name. She could see Lindsey looking at her like she had lost it. “Uh.. doctor….Dr. Jingleheimer… Schmidt?”

 

If Anne wasn’t so put off by Emily, she might have laughed but instead she simply questioned, “Your doctor is Dr. Jingleheimer-Schmidt?”

 

“I think his first name is John.” Lindsey rounded the table and was pulling Emily towards the door.

 

“His middle name might be Jacob.” Kelley giggled. Anne whipped her head around and rolled her eyes.

 

“Honestly, I will never understand that girl.” Anne crossed her arms. Kelley stared at her girlfriend, the frown lines in her girlfriend’s forehead drew away from her beauty. Unfortunately, they seemed to be there more and more lately. She hated how uptight Anne became around her teammates; well, really only one in particular. Normally, Anne was light-hearted and loved going on tamer adventures with Kelley. But lately it appeared that Anne grew tired of Kelley’s energy at a quicker rate than she used to and stopped laughing at her jokes as much. On occasion, Anne would remind her that she was nearly thirty and should start acting like it.

 

Instead of making a comment on Anne’s remark, Kelley grabbed her iced coffee cup and pulled Anne towards the door. “Come on, adventure awaits! Well, at least until afternoon practice.”

 

Only an hour had passed since the coffee shop when Kelley felt her phone buzz. She pushed down the slight excitement she felt when she read the sender’s name. _Emily_. Usually everyone on the team called Sonnett well…Sonnett, but when they were alone Kelley liked to switch to Emily. Kelley couldn’t hide the smile after reading the line in iMessage: _Fuck it. Let’s make this camp a little more interesting. As long as Anne doesn’t kill me._

 

Kelley was nearly 80% certain Anne would laugh at it and if she didn’t, they would need to have a talk. _What could possibly go wrong, Emily is 110% straight so Anne literally had nothing to worry about._ Kelley thought, hesitating just slightly before she tried to find every possible gay emoji she could find to reply to Emily.


	2. Her Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and Kelley test out the proposition and Kelley's girlfriend is not pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is delayed! It seemed like whenever I was about to sit down and finish this chapter, something happened (like my debit card number getting stolen). But fear not, here it is! 
> 
>  
> 
> I wrote some of this while rather intoxicated off a bottle of wine. I'm a distance runner so two glasses of wine makes me drunk so you can only imagine. I thought you guys might enjoy my drunk outline for the chapter...
> 
> Insert So’hara moment
> 
> Ideas include but are not limited to:
> 
> Holding hands with sparks (yes, I acknowledge the PG rating of it)
> 
> Yup…that’s my only idea

Emily woke up feeling restless. _Why did she tell Kelley she would do this?_ Since the minute she pressed send on the text last night, her stomach was in knots. It felt like something big had changed but she wasn’t sure what. It was the first thing she thought about in the morning following the agreement which had to mean something. Except she didn’t want it to mean anything. She let out a frustrated groan that was more audible than she planned.

 

“You good?” Rose asked coming out of the bathroom.

 

Emily bit her lip, there was nothing to tell. _Yes_ , she thought, _why was she fretting about this so much?_

“Oh, it’s nothing?” Emily rolled over, the pillow muffling her words.

 

Rose laughs as she pulls on her hoodie, “Certainty sounds like nothing. Are you that sore from yesterdays practice? Because I’ve heard rumors that Dawn is going to put us through the wringer today.”

 

Emily rolled back over and let out another loud grown, “Ugh! No! But that makes it worse. Well, I guess it doesn’t technically make the situation worse. Just the overall day worse. Because how could the agreement with Kelley be worsened by soreness for lifting? Nope. Doesn’t make any sense.” At the last sentence, Emily rolled back over, face first on the pillow. A split second passed before it dawned on her. She lifts her head up from the pillow. “Ignore what I just said. I speak gibberish in the morning.”

 

“Okay.” Rose rolls her eyes and throws a hoodie at Emily. “Time for breakfast.”

 

A few minutes later, Rose and Emily exit their room and head to meet the team for breakfast. Just when Emily thinks she is in the clear, Rose interjects their short walk to the elevator.

 

“So what agreement did you make with Kelley?” Rose casually says.

 

Emily presses the elevator button and internally begging her mind to come up with some sort of response to dodge the question.

 

“Oh. It’s just a joke?” Emily says but it ends up sounding more like a question.

 

“Yeah?” Rose questions.

 

Emily’s gabs the down button on the elevator another time, willing the machine to get to their floor right that second.

 

“Well…um…the deal was…it was…” Emily stammers but is interrupted but an arm slipping around her waist.

 

“Hey, lover.” Kelley says.

 

Rose was used to Kelley’s antics at this point, fully aware that she had no problem with personal contact or even harmless flirting.

 

Emily’s cheeks darken a shade of red and she curses her body’s reaction.

 

“So what deal did you make with Sonnett?” Rose asks, clearly confused by Emily’s avoidance.

 

Kelley, who kept her arm wrapped around Emily’s waist, could feel Emily’s muscles tighten. Without thinking and out of a protective nature, Kelley responded. “Oh that. I just made a deal to find an eligible guy to date Sonny here.”

 

Emily’s muscles loosened slightly at Kelley’s save but the possibility of finding another guy left a bitter taste in her mouth, even if it was just for show.

 

* * *

 

“What exactly did you mean when you said ‘play up our friendship?’” Emily bit her lip and fidgeted with her fingers. She internally cursed herself for her nervous habit and just hoped Kelley hadn’t picked up on it.

 

Kelley tilted her head from side to side in contemplation. “Hm…we could hold hands or give each other longer than normal looks. Oh! We could cuddle!” Kelley giggles at her own ideas, absently ignoring the nerves that pulled at her stomach.

 

Emily laughs a little at the suggestion. “We already cuddle. You cuddle with everyone. You’re like a dog.”

 

“Hey, I will take that as a compliment as long as I’m not a Chihuahua or something!” Kelley points her finger at Emily. “I mean cuddlier, more contact. But not like spooning or anything.” Kelley rushed to add and couldn’t make eye contact.

 

Emily’s cheeks turned a dark shade of red at the thought of spooning Kelley. “Um...”

 

Kelley rushes to alleviate some of Emily’s nerves. “That can happen later down the road or like not at all. How about we try something way smaller? Come sit across from me.”

Without a second thought, Emily moves from her seat at the hotel desk to the side of the queen bed facing Kelley. With both of them leaning with their arms propped on their legs, they were only inches apart. Something about the proximately and the situation at hand made her stomach flip. She eases up, no longer leaning on her knees, to an upright position. Kelley let out a huff.

 

“You are not making this easy.” Kelley stood up from her separate bed and sat nearly leg to leg next to Emily. Emily swallows her nerves and turns to make eye contact with Kelley.

 

“Sorry.” Emily fights the urge to break eye contact and look away.

 

But once Kelley smiles, Emily can only seem to look at her. “Perfect. Now keep looking at me.” Kelley let herself really look at Emily. This was different then the small glances she made during a typical conversation. Now she got to notice the lines on Emily’s face, the freckles that lined her forehead, her blue eyes, and she could almost feel her heart rate increase as Emily’s lips turned up into a soft smile. Kelley fought the urge to shake her head out of the mini-trance.

 

Emily watches as Kelley slowly pulls her right hand up, to approach Emily’s face. For a split second, Emily panics at the thought that Kelley as going to pull her for a kiss. And for a millisecond, Emily entertains the idea. She manages to focus back on Kelley’s face. Everything about her was gorgeous, her freckles that almost made her face look tan, the hazel eyes that shone an enticing shade of gold, and her lips that were a light shade of natural pink. Sometimes looking at Kelley felt like looking at the sun, almost too much to take in that you have to look away.  Before Emily’s mind could turn to panic mode, Kelley reaches towards Emily’s forehead and moves a blonde bang and tucks it behind her ear. There was a shift in Kelley’s eyes that Emily couldn’t pinpoint but it causes her breath to hitch.

 

Every aspect of that moment held power, power to what Emily couldn’t figure out. This time Kelley couldn’t fight it and clears her throat, quickly moving her hand away from Emily’s face.

 

“See? Simple.” Kelley said, her voice slightly hoarse.

 

Emily swallows the lump in her throat and nods her head lightly looking anywhere but at Kelley. “So we should probably head to the lobby to go to practice.” Her voice hitches a little at the end causing a small smile to spread over Kelley’s face.

 

Kelley quickly shakes her head, chalking up to whatever just happened to friends goofing off. “Totally.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you shitting me? Fake dating?” Anne nearly yells.

 

Kelley flinches at the tone in Anne’s voice. After repeating the situation to Anne, Kelley begins to realize why Anne would get so upset

 

“What?” Kelley tries her best to keep her tone calm. “It’s not fake dating. You know how people pair us together on social media, it’s just a way to play it up a little. It’s just for the enjoyment of fans. You even laughed when I was on scrolling through feeds and found out that people were pairing us.” Kelley pauses at a realization and spins on Anne. “You even suggested the idea of fake dating to pull more fans to follow the women’s team all year round.”

 

Anne’s face flushes a dark shade of red from anger. “That was then.”

 

Kelley’s mouth falls open. “That was then? That’s all you’re going to say? I’m a not some child where you can give me some bull shit response like that and think I’ll just nod my head and say ‘yeah, makes total sense.’” Kelley could feel the anger boiling. Gone was the original worry that she was in the wrong.

 

“You two seem too cozy is all.” Anne rolls her eyes and turns her nose up a little before she begins to walk out of the room.

 

Kelley stood and follows her. “I’m sorry but is that why you are kind of a bitch to her?”

 

Anne snaps her head around, her ponytail hitting the side of her cheeks. “Excuse me? She needs to know her place which is not next to you.”

 

“Her place? HER PLACE? You’ve got to be shitting me. Instead of coming to me to voice your concerns and jealousy about my friendship with my straight friend, might I add, you choose to mark me like your territory?” Kelley clenches her fists and then relaxes them. This was always her technique to calm herself down when she felt like she was on the edge of seeing red.

 

“Fine. My bad.” Anne rolls her eyes. “I just don’t get why you hang out with her. She’s practically a child and it seems to be rubbing off on you.”

 

Kelley opens her mouth and then closes it again, unsure of even how to respond to such an insulting statement. With a deep breath, Kelley levels her voice. “She’s five years younger than us! Are you joking? I’m choosing to ignore that insulting comment that I act like a child because we’ll have to address that later. You have no problem with me handing out with Lindsey. They’re the same age.”

 

“Whatever. Eventually, you’ll have to decide if you want still be friends with her or keep me around.” Anne made a face that bordered dubious and cocky.

 

Traditionally, Kelley never believed you should walk away from a fight if it wasn’t resolved or at least diffused but she made an exception this time. As she got up to slip on her Birkenstocks, Anne’s face turned to anger, clearly thinking Kelley would pick her without hesitation.

“Where are you going?” Anne spat.

 

Kelley reaches for the door and as she pulls it open, she turns back to say, “I don’t like ultimatums. I’m going for a walk.” The door slams in an echo that only fuels Kelley’s anger. 

* * *

 

A gentle knock on the door stirs Emily from her sleep. She looks around to see that Rose’s bed is empty, she must have fallen asleep right after dinner.

 

Another knock sounds before the door opens and Kelley walks in.

 

“Kelley?” Emily’s voice is hoarse from sleep. “What are you doing here?” Emily tried to keep her voice from shaking. There was a look in Kelley’s eyes that she couldn’t place. _Was it hunger? No, not possible_ Emily thought.

 

“We broke up,” Kelley said and sat along the bed. Her soccer shorts riding up, showing her upper thigh which Emily tried not to notice.

 

Emily felt the sleepiness leave immediately. “You and Anne?”

 

“Yeah.” Kelley says nodding her head. “I couldn’t be with her anymore so I ended it.”

 

Emily bits her lip, debating if she should tell the truth. “Yeah? I never thought you two were really right for each other. It felt like she was holding you back from being you.” Emily reached for Kelley’s hand. “You’re amazing and you should always feel free to be you.” She pinches her eyes shut at the thought of Kelley being in pain. “But I am really sorry you are going through this. Losing someone that has been in your life is not easy, even if it’s by choice.”

 

“Yeah?” Kelley looks into Emily’s eyes, almost as if she is searching for some answer.

 

“Of course.” Emily squeezes Kelley’s hand. She tries to ignore the air around her, everything feels charged.

 

Kelley cups Emily’s hand with both of hers. “Yeah, but I’m not sorry about it all.” Emily sat up a little more in bed. “But it needed to happen because I realized something.”

 

Emily could feel her heart rate increase, _what was it?_ “What was it? If you don’t mind me asking…” Emily followed quickly.

 

Kelley’s expression, which is usually relaxed in a smile looked worried. Her freckles enhanced her beauty and Emily couldn’t help but reach out to cup Kelley’ cheek in her hand. Kelley leans into the warm touch, everything about Emily felt like home to her. Kelley’s face looks perplexed and then suddenly determined as if she made a decision. Kelley leans slowly towards Emily in response to her question. Kelley approaches slowly to give Emily time to push her way, to tell her no, and if that happened Kelley would have completely understood.

 

Emily watches as Kelley leans in. Every muscle in her body begins to lean towards Kelley and her mind only questions the action for a split second before it quieted.

 

Their lips meet in the gentlest way, a light kiss that tickles Emily’s lips. Kelley starts to pull back to allow Emily to process the events when she feels Emily’s hand around her neck, pulling her closer. Their lips meet again leading to a more feverish kiss. Emily’s body reacts instantly. Kelley felt soft against her lips, everything about her was smooth and soft, but intense. Every nerve in Emily’s body was on fire. Kelley took the lead in the kiss all while trying to keep her distance, not wanting to push further than Emily was ready for. Kelley seems surprised when one of Emily’s hands went to her hip. Emily moves her other free hand to Kelley’s hip, leaning back, and pulling Kelley on top of her. Every ounce of Kelley responds. It seems obvious that they not only want each other but need each other. Emily allows Kelley to take the lead, slightly unsure of what to do but instinctually knowing, at the same time. Just as Emily was about to mutter, “I need you” to Kelley, there was an annoying buzzer going off. Kelley chooses to ignore it but it only grew louder to Emily. A minute passes and the sound keep going off, leaving Emily extremely frustrated at the interference.

 

Emily blinks once into the darkness, acutely aware of the absence of Kelley’s body heat near her. She rolls over to find out the source of the buzzing noise. Her alarm. Emily wants to throw her phone across the room and resume her dream. The memory of her dreams comes crashing back to her _. Oh my God,_ she thinks. She sits up in bed, suddenly awake, turned on, and extremely confused about what her dream means.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay! I saw a few of your comments and messages and got to writing! I will be on some long bus and plane rides in the next few weeks so I should get some writing done.
> 
> I'm in New Zealand right now and my girlfriend who usually proofreads my stuff is 18 hours behind me so the editing process hasn't really been there so I'm sorry in advance for my spelling and grammar mistakes. So what I'm trying to say is be kind to me :)

 

 

Rose, Lindsey, and Mal had only just sat down at breakfast before Emily blurts, “I need a boyfriend.”

 

The three turn to look at Emily fully and she could feel someone slipping into the chair next to her. After a quick peak to her right, Emily noticed the new occupant was Kelley and tries to fight the blush the threatened. Rose and Mal high five at the prospect of a new mission and whisper something that sounds oddly like “mission find hot stuff.” Lindsey squints her eyes at Emily causing Emily to squirm under the scrutiny. In order to not make eye contact with Lindsey, Emily allows herself to glance to her right. Was it her imagination or did Kelley’s jaw tighten at her sentence? Kelley swiftly let out a small laugh to cover herself.

 

“What brought this on? Because as of three days ago, you were adamant that you didn’t need a man.” Kelley tries to play off the last sentence in a sassy joking tone so no one would notice her clenched fist under the table. She wasn’t sure why the notion of Emily with a boyfriend causes her such frustration but maybe it was just because of her fight with Anne.

 

“Yeah, Sonny. Why the sudden change?” Lindsey prods, clearly skeptical of her statement from the very beginning.

 

Before Emily can open her mouth Rose chirps in. “Might have something to do with her dream last night.”

 

Emily, unfortunately, picks that time to take a swig of her water which gets coughed out onto the table. Kelley quickly reaches over to pat Emily’s back and the sensation only causes Emily to cough more.

 

“Wh-what?” Emily makes out between coughs. The memory of last night’s dream is brought to the forefront of her thoughts.  It is that particular memory that heightens the sensation of Kelley’s hand on her back trying to soothe her, only causing her more panic.

 

Rose almost blushes at the memory. “Well…Sonny, you might have moaned a few times in your sleep. I looked over to see if you were in pain but you were smiling in a weirdly mischievous grin.”

 

“Must have been some dream.” Kelley eyes her.

 

Before Emily could stop herself she turns to Kelley and raises an eyebrow, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

 

Kelley who is known to always have witty comeback just stares at her. Emily is caught off guard her own flirty comment and just sits there with her mouth open. Lindsey allows their stare off to continue for a few seconds before she steps in.

 

“I think we’d all like to know.” Lindsey purses her lips, Sonnett’s odd behavior is not lost on her.

Kelley picks up her food. “I have to go?”

 

“Go where?” Mal asks.

 

“To change my…feet,” Kelley says over her shoulder with a light wave.

 

Rose and Mal laugh at the comment, clearly amused by the _She’s the Man_ reference.

 

“Actually, Sonnett and I have to go too,” Lindsey says, picking up her food, and walking towards Emily.

 

Mal looks up, confusion written all over her face. “But we just sat down. We have to eat! Dawn says that recovery is heavily based on nutrition! Plus, we didn’t even have to cook the food!”

 

Rose pats Mal’s shoulder, lightly shaking her head. “Oh young one, you have so much left to learn. Clearly, one of them has to poop and the other is just a cover so we don’t know.”

 

Emily stands up now and says, “Uh, yeah?”

 

“Dammit, they figured us out!” Lindsey says as she pulls Emily towards the exit. Once they are out of earshot, Lindsey begins to speak. “Okay, you have some explaining to do.”

 

“Explain what?” Emily asks innocently, avoiding eye contact.

 

“What just happened back there.” Lindsey presses the up button on the elevator so they can go back to her room. “Why did you seem panicked by a dream? Why did it sound like you were flirting with Kelley rather than joking around? And why did Kelley spaz out?”

 

“Shit.” Emily didn’t mean to say it out loud but it surprises her how much Lindsey picked up on.

 

As they enter the elevator, Lindsey leans back against the wall and allows Emily to press the floor. “I’m not completely oblivious. Does this have anything to do with that proposition Kelley made a few days ago? Are you just freaking out?”

 

_Yes_ , Emily wants to scream but pulls her lips in to prevent herself from talking. They make their way off the elevator and Lindsey decides to give Emily some time to respond. Lindsey reaches out to touch Emily’s arm to stop her, “You can tell me if there is something going on?”

 

Emily slowly lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “I…I’m good.” She wasn’t ready to talk about whatever she is feeling because she didn’t even know what was happening. It was a simple dream and she was making a bigger deal out of something that didn’t even deserve a second thought.

 

* * *

 

 

It only took Alex three seconds to decide to follow Kelley out when she saw Kelley rush out of the room.

 

“Wormy, wait up!” Alex’s crackly voice rang out. Kelley almost kept walking but she knew Alex would keep following until she caught up. Once Kelley was around the corner from the room where the team was having breakfast, she began to slow to allow Alex to catch up.

 

“Yeah?” Kelley tried to avoid eye contact with Alex.

 

Even without the looking directly at Alex, Kelley could feel her scrutinizing gaze. “What’s going on?” Kelley opens her mouth to respond but nothing seems to come. Her emotions are so jumbled that she feels like she is getting whiplash from her own thoughts. As if sensing Kelley’s cluttered thoughts, Alex takes a different approach. “Why don’t we start with something simple? How is Anne?”

 

Kelley couldn’t help the odd noise that escapes her that sounds like a mixture of a growl of frustration and huff of defeat. If that weren’t enough, tears began to threaten. She begins to walk further from the breakfast room in hopes that Alex will eventually follow.

 

“Okay, that seemed like the easy question but based off the strange noise you just did, I’d say there is something going on there. Do you want to talk about it?” Alex places her hand on Kelley’s arm in order to try and offer some sort of comfort.

 

After hesitating, Kelley nods once they exit the hotel sliding doors and begin their walk down the street.

 

“Alright, let’s me try with another simple question. Is this the main reason you seem so off?” Alex tries again.

 

Kelley glances at her with an exasperated expression. She knew it wasn’t Alex’s fault for asking the questions that seemed so simple but were actually extremely hard to answer.

 

Alex grimaces, “I’ll take that as a no?” Kelley keeps quiet but gives her a deadpan expression. “Okay, it would appear that I am rather poor at asking ‘simple’ questions. Why don’t you explain and that way I don’t ask any more questions that make you give me a look like you want to cry and punch me at the same time?”

 

Finally, Kelley cracks a small smile and decides she might as well give Alex a little background. “Anne is being an ass hat. Yes, I said ass hat because that is just how bad she is being. We got in a stupid argument that centered around someone. She doesn’t think I should be friends with them, let alone joke around with them. Then on top of that, things have just been off lately. I just don’t feel so happy with her anymore. Remember when we first started dating and I was off the wall happy. She would surprise me after workouts with little meals and we would just go places and experience new adventures. Which by the way, have not only stopped but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like nature as much as she originally let on. But that’s beside the point, it’s just not the same anymore and she isn’t who she was when we first started out. I find myself feeling more self-conscious around her and am starting to think I’m staying because I like to see things through, I don’t want to bail just when things are tough.” She lets out a long breath and feels her shoulders relax at the admission. But the anxiety returns immediately when she feels Alex’s hands on her shoulders with a concerned look on her face.

 

“Kel, that’s not okay. I know you and know you see the best in people but you also need to prioritize yourself. If she is toxic to you right now and has been for a while, you need to put yourself first and end it.” Alex feels fiercely protection of Kelley and anyone who possibly holds Kelley back, has to deal with her own wrath.

 

“But what if I’m not doing it for the right reasons?” Kelley’s voice was just above a whisper. She hates feeling like she has one foot out the door of her relationship. If she were to end it, it would have to be about their relationship alone.

 

Alex tries to prevent a confused expression from clouding her face. “How do you mean?”

 

Kelley takes another deep breath, she feels like this entire conversation has consisted of her taking deep breaths for confessions and holding her breath to see Alex’s response. “Things with Anne have been off. As I mentioned and it’s been bugging me for a while but I have been trying to put our relationship above it all, trying to ignore it. But I can’t fight this feeling that there is someone, you know? Like why does she need a boyfriend all the sudden? I thought I was picking up on a vibe and now I feel like I have whiplash for trying to figure her out! But it doesn’t matter. At least it shouldn’t.” Kelley’s eyes took on a slightly crazed look from spilling all of her inner thoughts.

 

Alex’s mouth hangs open at the confession. “I thought Anne was gay! Who is the other person? A guy?”

 

“Huh? What? Anne is gay. What are you talking about?” Kelley looks perplexed.

 

Alex is having a hard time keeping up with the conversation which she realizes was never simple to begin with. “Then why does she want a boyfriend?!”

 

“Urgh! Not Anne!” Kelley threw her head back in frustration.

 

“You?!” Alex nearly shouts. “Dude, you and Tobin are like the gayest people I’ve ever met.”

 

A few people walking past them nearly halt, clearly recognizing the well know Alex Morgan talking about the gayness of individuals.

 

Kelley looks over at them and they quickly scurry away. In a whisper, she responds, “Not me! Why can’t you follow this?”

 

“Oh my God, Kel. Not even a person with two Ph.D.’s could follow this conversation. Who the hell wants a boyfriend and why does this matter if it’s not either you or Anne?!” Alex threw her hands up in confusion.

 

“Emily, of course!” Kelley nearly shouts her response.

 

Now Alex is completely speechless. The wheels start churning in her brain and she quickly realizes that the fact that Emily suddenly wants a boyfriend and is sending mixed signals has some sort of an impact on Kelley. “Oh my God. Sonny?! Also, who could have possibly followed that insanely vague explanation from you?”

 

Kelley waves her hand to ignore Alex’s last sentence. “Do you see my problem? I don’t want that entire confusing situation to have any impact on me potentially ending things with Anne. What if I only have confusing feelings towards Em because things are bad with Anne?”

 

“We both know now that things were bad with Anne before then. It seems like this has been brewing between your relationship.” Alex states.

 

“My relationship with Anne or Emily?” Kelley clarifies because at the rate this conversation is going, she needs to.

 

Alex’s head sways side to side in contemplation. “I guess both. Brewing in a negative way with Anne and an interesting but potentially positive way with Emily.”

 

“Crap. What do I do?” Kelley nearly pleads.

 


	4. Friday Night and the Lights are Low

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the long hiatus, I couldn't seem to get my thoughts organized. Then after one of you anonymously asked me to update on Tumblr I decided to get my shit together. So thank you for that. I'm sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes. I got really excited after finally writing something and didn't really read through it so I could post it asap. 
> 
> Let me know what you think and be kind ;) (even if its anonymously on Tumblr, it makes me smile)

“So about earlier…” Emily fumbles with the key to fob into her hotel room.

Lindsey, who was casually leaning with her back against the hotel wall, glances over clearly intrigued. “Do go on.”

Emily rolls her eyes at Lindsey before pushing the heavy hotel door open, quickly checking to see if Alyssa was in the room. _All clear_ , Emily nods to herself. In a way, she was hoping Alyssa would be there so she wouldn’t have to continue her original thought.

“I was wondering about things.” Emily walks quickly into the room but doesn’t turn to face Lindsey until she hears the door close.

“How oddly vague.” But as Lindsey steps further into the room, she could sense Emily’s nerves and drops her joking tone. “What are you wondering about?”

“How does one begin to develop the elementary understanding of the dopamine and serotonin response on the basis of particular primary and secondary sex traits as well as overall presentation?” Emily lets out a loud sigh as if a small weight has been lifted by the question she deemed simple.

Lindsey stops walking, turns to face Emily with her mouth hanging open. After a few seconds pass, Emily begins to panic. _Did Lindsey think she was gross for asking?! Wait, but she seems so cool with all the LGBTQ people they know._ Emily’s thoughts began to spiral until she notices the confused look on Lindsey’s face. _Oh! That probably wasn’t the most straight forward question._ Emily bites her lip as her brain begins to form another way of asking. 

“Listen, I know I never went to college but I don’t think that would have helped me figure out what the hell you are trying to ask,” Lindsey says and scratches her head. 

“Right.” Emily turns her back to Lindsey. She could feel her hands start to sweat and her muscles start to tremor. _Why was this so hard to say out loud?_

“Kelley. Gay! You know?!” Emily yells as she pivots quickly on the balls of her feet to face Lindsey. She was certain this time that Lindsey would understand.

Lindsey frowns, “Yes, Kelley is gay. What does that have to do with anything? We all know that.”

“Urgh! But women, ya know?!” Emily is nearly shouting at this point.

“What?” Lindsey wore a perplexed expression. Seconds pass before Lindsey jumps up and down like she got chosen on a game show. “OH! Oh my god! You! Girls!”

Emily threw her hands into the air in exasperation. “Finally you caught up! But I don’t know if I am into them. It’s just that recent events have gotten me thinking and I had this weird dream.” She could feel herself start to ramble. “Like they seem soft. Sometimes I’m getting flustered around them.” Emily carefully exchanges Kelley’s name with a general pronoun. “So what do I do?!”

Lindsey brings both hands to the side of her head and gives Emily a look of relief, ignoring Emily’s question. “Well, thank God you didn’t agree to add fuel to the fire by agreeing to that ship with Kelley!” Lindsey lets out a soft chuckle but abruptly stops when she noticed the color drain out of Emily’s face.

“Sonny, you didn’t.” Emily was sure that Lindsey meant that as a question but the fact that it was delivered as a statement only made her suck in a breath.

Now Emily’s hands flew to her forehead, mimicking Lindsey with a look of fear. At another time, in a different place, the way they were mirroring each other with shocked expressions would have caused them to keel over in laughter. Instead, Emily began to pace the length of the room muttering, “Oh my god, what did I do?” repeatedly.

Emily could actually feel her feet grow warm at the speed of her pacing. She finally takes a deep breath and turns to face Lindsey who had transitioned to sitting on the edge of the bed. “I can’t back out now! That would be weird and Kelley would ask why! Oh my God, I’d probably come off as homophobic!” Emily’s voice rose two octaves.

“How ironic?!” Lindsey couldn’t hold back the laugh that escapes her. Emily had to clear her throat to get Lindsey’s attention again. “Right. This is serious. But there is only one way to figure out if you’re actually into girls.”

“I can’t kiss Kelley!” Emily’s face turns a shade of scarlet with the with images of last night’s dream coming back in full force.

Lindsey stands up from the bed and grabs Emily’s arm which began to flail. “Woah there, I never said anything about kissing Kelley. I was thinking we go to a bar tonight.” The confusion of Emily’s face caused Lindsey to continue, “A gay bar, Sonny. You really are frazzled.”

“Oh. Oh? Oh!” A look of understanding began to wash over Emily’s features. “Can we do that? What will that prove?”

“Well if you have enough game, then maybe you can get a kiss from a girl and figure out all the confusion that has plagued you over the past day. Honestly, Sonny, people take years to figure this out so you seem way ahead of the game.”

Emily nods, ignoring Lindsey’s last comment. “Okay. We can do this. Wait, what do I wear to a gay bar?!” Just like that, Emily’s panic returns.

* * *

“We aren’t okay, are we?” Kelley blurts the words and could feel the panic set it. She hadn’t intended to actually say the words out loud. But there they were. The air between Kelley and Anne grew even denser than it already was. Their previous fight seemed to hover over them like a dark cloud that neither one addressed. Kelley had always believed that you should never go to bed angry but the idea began to fade with each passing day. Sometimes it was worth going to bed angry if you didn’t feel the need to apologize and neither did they.

Kelley pulls herself from her own thoughts and looks over at Anne, whose anger seems to dissipate at the words. Instead, she began to take on a tired look, one that matches Kelley’s internal state.

“I don’t know how we got here.” Anne’s voice was barely above a whisper. No matter how much they have been fighting, this was clearly causing both of them to hurt. Kelley had once heard that long term relationships are actually several relationships back to back. It is completely unrealistic to assume that neither of you will grow or change in some way but the problem is when you grow apart from each other. Then you need to look at the person next to you and ask, would you be with this person if you met them now? If not, can you get back to the point where you could?

“What do we do?” Kelley's voice sounds like a plea but it felt like a rhetorical question in her head.

“One final try?” Anne asks but they both knew it was their last hurrah. 

Kelley nods her head, “Where to?”

“Where we first went when we moved here?” Anne asks.

* * *

 “It’s so loud in here!” Emily yells into Lindsey's ear.

“What?” Lindsey leans in to hear Emily better. One pop song bleeds right into another, completely eliminating hope to hold a conversation. Emily grabs Lindsey’s arm and pulls her closer to the bathroom. The small hallway blocks some of the noise but it still feels like Emily’s eardrums are vibrating.

“What do I do now?” Emily looks as if she on the verge of panic.

Lindsey grabs Emily’s shoulder and stares into her friend’s eyes, “Do what you normally do at a club, dance but particularly with someone.”

“That’s it?” Emily feels her stomach twist with nerves.

“Well, that and try and make out with someone. That’ll help.” Lindsey says like it is the most nonchalant thing while Emily is on the verge of hyperventilating.

After a few deep breathes to steady herself, Emily squares her shoulders and nods. They make their way to the center of the dance floor with some effort to get through the dense crowd. It only takes the chorus on a song before a girl backs up into Emily to dance. Emily quickly glances at Lindsey with a panicked look but Lindsey gives a mini dance motion to remind her to actually move her body. It wasn’t that different dancing with a girl, Emily thought, but then again something felt inherently different. Her body seems to respond a little more. 

Two songs pass before the girl spun around to dance with her front pressed against Emily’s. The girl’s dirty blonde hair lay just below her shoulder and her brown eyes stare up at Emily. Emily took time to notice the girls features, although she was pretty, it didn’t seem to have the same effect as a certain set of hazel eyes and freckled face. Suddenly, lips were on Emily’s and it took her a full two seconds to realize the random girl dancing up against her had made a move. After the shock wore off Emily began to take stock of how her body was reacting. There was clearly some sort of positive response, much better than with any of her ex-boyfriends. _They are definitely softer_ , Emily thought to herself nearly causing her to laugh into the girl’s lips. But even with the small excitement, she wasn’t reacting anything like when Kelley and she kissed in her dream.

Emily pulls back from the girl telling her she needs to grab water in a hoarse voice. Without hesitation, she grabs Lindsey’s hand to rush off the dance floor in a different kind of panic then she felt before.

* * *

 Kelley could feel the music vibrate through her chest. Anne approaches hands Kelley water and keeps the vodka tonic for herself. It was like an unspoken message has passed between them when they entered the club. This was most likely their last date together.

“Do you feel like dancing?” Anne made a goofy dancing motion with her arms nearly spilling her drink. This was the old Anne she was used to but Kelley knew that come to tomorrow, Anne would be back to who she has been recent. They were both making an attempt to act like who they were when they first met. Although fun for the meantime, Kelley is okay and even proud of who is now. 

Anne grabs Kelley’s hand and led her to the dance floor. Kelley pulls Anne in, they body flush against each other. Despite the overly remixed pop music, Kelley was enjoying herself. She could feel her mind relax into the rhythm of the music until two blondes catch her eye. A haze of fog hung in the air but Kelley was almost certain she saw Emily and Lindsey. _What were they doing at a gay club? Wait, is Emily dancing with a girl?_ Her movements became more awkward and Anne sent her a look of confusion but her attention was solely on the two girls across the floor _. Oh my god, Emily is kissing a girl! Well, at least potential Emily is! What the fuck!_ Kelley completely stops and could feel her stomach flip. She could feel Anne pull on her hand but she ignores it and begins to make her way towards the two girls. Before she takes three steps in, Emily steps away from the girl, grabs Lindsey’s hand, and pulls her away. _That couldn’t be them_ , Kelley thinks, _it was the fog_. But her pulse quickens and her stomach flips despite her own doubt.


	5. Wait til I make jam, it'll rock your world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By some miracle, I was able to write and get ideas. But in all actuality, you're nice little nudges on Tumblr really do kick my butt into gear so keep them coming! And the nice comments are greatly appreciated :) 
> 
> Be warned that I didn't actually reread what I wrote or do any sort of editing. I apologize in advance writing to the quality of a fourth grader. I considered making this into two chapters just figured y'all would prefer a longer one.
> 
> If any of you follow my other study, Just Peachy, look for an update in the next day or two!

“Wormie?” Alex asks with confusion and worry on her face. Kelley stops aimlessly wondering down the hotel hallway and turns to look at Alex. “Where are you going and why does it look like the world has been ripped out from under your feet?” Alex had heard someone slowly walking down the hallway and had a sinking feeling she should check the door and she was glad she did. “Kel?”

Kelley starts walking towards Alex, feeling like she was in a weird trance. When she was right in front of Alex, Alex grabs Kelley’s hand to pull her into the hotel room. “What’s going on?”

Before Kelley was about to dish any information she looks around the hotel room for Harris.

“She’s not here,” Alex answers as though reading her thoughts.

Kelley sits on the edge and flings her body to lay back in a thud as she says, “Anne is going to move out tomorrow.” She almost can’t believe her own tone; Kelley says it as if she heard it was supposed to drizzle tomorrow afternoon or that blueberries were on sale at Whole Foods. Casual. The tone both validates her feeling that she was doing the right thing but also made her incredibly sad for not even really caring.

Alex’s gasp brings her back to the present before her mind could really begin to spiral. “Oh my God, Kel! Are you okay?” Alex took a seat at the armchair next to the bed, looking on with concern. 

Kelley waddles her arms up so she is propped up on her elbows to look at Alex. “I’m…fine? I’m fine.” She wanted to want to cry but she couldn’t. Instead, she felt like she finished a good book. Slightly dejected that it ended but happy she got to see the story through to the conclusion. “I’m going to miss certain things. Like when she sings about doing random activities or adding raisinets to her popcorn. But I’m going to miss the old her which doesn’t feel like much of a change to how I’ve been feeling in our relationship recently.  We’re going to be okay, better off.”

“Good,” Alex says and quickly backtracks. “I mean not good as it that it ended! Well, I guess a little.” Kelley raises her eyebrows but keeps a neutral expression. “Urgh, Worm you know what I mean! So what was the official reason? When did this happen?”

“Officially?” Kelley asks and Alex nods her head. “I guess an hour ago. We pretty much knew that when we went out tonight, it was our last date. It didn’t need to be said but both of us got the general goodbye vibe that passed between us. At the end of the day, we ended because we are no longer compatible and neither one of us want to alter who we are because we are proud of our own individual progress. But that’s just it, the problem, it was about our approach as looking at ourselves solely as individuals not ‘us’ and not ‘we.’ It was like we were on two separate roads that ran parallel for a while, which worked, but eventually, the roads started fork and drift in opposite directions towards different end destinations.”

Alex leans over and puts her hand on Kelley’s knee to show her support. “But are you really okay?”

Kelley seemed to lose all words. “I will be. There was just a lot to process tonight.” And she wasn’t talking strictly about the breakup.

“Did you at least get some sort of enjoyment out of your last date?” Alex was trying to find some bright spot out of the entire situation. She didn’t know that Kelley felt like she could finally take a deep breath for the first in what felt like ages with the intense pressure off of her chest. 

Kelley sways her head from side to side, her straightened hair swaying behind her. “Actually, it was a lot of fun. We went to the club we went to when we first moved here. We danced for a while before I saw…what I thought I saw…” Kelley drew out. She wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to tell Alex. After all, she could have imagined the whole thing. Even if they were there, maybe they didn’t know it was a gay bar? Maybe it was wishful thinking on her part. She halts the thought the minute it pops into her head. Kelley quickly shakes her head before she finishes, “…When I realized we should call it a night and really talk about the future or lack thereof.”

“You went to the Sun Trapp, right? It’s the popular gay bar here.” Alex smiles, clearly pleased she remembered the name.

“So you know it’s a gay bar!” Kelley sits up and throws her hands in the air. So clearly if Emily and Horan were there, they would have known. I mean the jumbo rainbow flag at the entrance should have been some give away.

Alex, completely taken aback asks, “Of course. It is like the gay bar of Salt Lake. Why does it matter if I know? What aren’t you telling me? 

“Nothing,” Kelley said too hurriedly.

Alex pauses, unsure if she should really press for more information. Kelley’s thoughts were clearly all over the place which was usually an indicator she was doing some major thinking. Instead, Alex sees Kelley’s worried expression and tries to lighten the mood.

“Well, hopefully, that clears up whatever weird feelings you were fostering for Sonnett.” Alex laughs.

Kelley’s eyes widen in surprise and she starts coughing on nothing but the air around her. “What?” She attempts to recover and act casual.

“You know that you were worried that you were looking for an out with Anne by subconsciously developing a curiosity for Sonny?” Alex was looking at Kelley like she clearly lost it.

That wasn’t entirely how Kelley was looking at her feelings towards Emily but she likes the way Alex compartmentalized it. So instead of saying anything, Kelley nods her head.

 “I’m sure those feelings will ease up and go away now that you actually ended things with Anne.”

Kelley looks away from Alex’s eyes when she responds, “Yeah, totally just some coping mechanism.” When things ended tonight, Emily was not on Kelley’s mind which made her feel better about the true reasons her break up. But why in all that is good in the world, was she thinking more about Emily than Anne right now?

Alex began to worry more about how much Kelley was trying to act strong about this breakup. It was clear to Alex that Kelley was going through a lot of emotions surrounding her relationship and Anne, or at least so she thought.

“How about we watch a movie?” Alex jumps over onto the bed, snuggling up next to Kelley.

 “Yeah, sure,” Kelley responds with a faraway look in her eyes.

* * *

 

“So….” Lindsey finally speaks to break up the silence that hung around them since they abruptly left the club.

“I…we? Cause you know? Words!” The lyft driver nearly jumps at Emily’s outburst.

Lindsey reaches over to pat Emily on the arm, “Yeah?”

Emily finally turns to look Lindsey full on for the first time since the club and Lindsey could see the panic in Emily’s eyes. “It’s cool. We can talk about it when you’re ready.”

Five minutes later, the lyft pulls up to the hotel and they hop out. Emily continues to remain silent as she presses the up button on the elevator. Lindsey just stands there, trying to be supportive, but also hesitant knowing that Emily will likely have a freak out at any moment.

Just as Emily is about to put her keycard into the lock, Rose opens the door. They both jump back in surprise and Rose speaks up, “You guys are back early! Jeez, Sonny, I was startled to see you right there but you look like you just got the shit scared out you. You good?”

Emily opens her mouth but no words seem to come out. Only a second passes before Lindsey steps in to save her friend, “She’s totally good. I think the exhaustion of the week is finally hitting her.” 

Mal appears behind Rose’s shoulder and nods in understanding. “Dude, same. Rose is coming over to my room and we are going to watch a Harry Potter movie marathon if you guys want to join!” 

“Maybe, I’ll text you if we end up wanting to join. I give it all of ten minutes before Sonny is out like a light.” Lindsey pulls Emily into the room as Rose and Mal exit, heading down the hall.

“Okay! But if you choose to come you need to knock three times to symbolize the deathly hallows and then ask, ‘Mind if I Slytherin?’” Rose yells over her should in all seriousness.

“Change that, we definitely aren’t coming now,” Lindsey says and laughs as she shuts the door.

They only make it five feet into the room before Emily stops suddenly and turns. “Oh my god.”

“Good. Three words are a solid start.” Lindsey walks around Emily to sit, knowing there would likely be a long conversation ahead of them. Or at least some sort of personal soliloquy from Sonnett.

“What!” Emily nearly shouts. “Gah!" 

“Now you’ve reverted back to one word and a sound effect. Try again.” Lindsey jokes.

“Okay.” Emily begins to pace, making awkward hand gestures to try and demonstrate how she’s feeling. “You see…like soft ya know? But not like holy fireworks?” Emily pauses and takes a deep breath to try and collect her thoughts. “Words, right. It wasn’t bad. Definitely better than kissing a guy but also not out of this world. It could be due to the fact that I knew the girl for an entire six minutes before she had her tongue in my mouth. She was softer than guys, which I was totally right about in my initial thoughts and it definitely made kissing better. I was intrigued but not super eager which makes me even more confused. So I guess I am probably not straight.” Emily lets out a long exhale after rushing all of her words out in a long string.

“What a very analytical way of looking at it. So, not gay?” Lindsey asks.

 “No?” Emily stops pacing. 

Lindsey throws her head back in confusion. “Urgh, so is that a no to being gay or a no as in not, not gay."

“The double negative option,” Emily says. Lindsey continued to glare in an attempt to make Emily clarify more. “I might be gay? But I don’t know. I felt more of a response to her than any guys I’ve kissed but I also don’t think she was the right girl to get a reaction out of me.”

“I’m not here to label you and you don’t have to put a label on it if you aren’t ready to. You don’t ever have to put a label on it honestly.” Lindsey says after a short pause. Emily simply gave a small nod, looking a little sad and a lot confused. “How about a gay movie? Maybe that’ll help you figure it out a little more?”

Emily perks up at the suggestion, “Okay! But not that one Blue Color movie, or whatever it’s called. I’m not about to watch a ten-minute-long sex scene with you.”

“I’m hurt!” Lindsey places her hand on her check in mock offense. She pulls out her phone and asks, “Siri, what are the best lesbian romcoms?”

A short list pops up on Emily’s phone. “There is Imagine Me and You, Saving Face, I Can’t Think Straight, Girl Trash, and so on.”

“Let’s just go with the first one.” Emily opens up her laptop to try and find it.

“According to Google, you made the right choice. Oh, it has the guy from Leap Year in it!” Lindsey starts to walk towards the bed but before sitting down, she turns towards the door. “My quads a little sore, I’m gonna go grab some ice. Don’t start the movie until I get back!”

She was just about to the ice machine when she overheard the words “Anne” and “Move out” from the hotel room next to the machine. Lindsey pauses for a moment and tilts her head to the side. _Isn’t that Alex’s room? Wait, Kelley’s girlfriend is an Anne. Holy!_ Horan shakes her head to get the idea out of her head, unlikely that it was actually Kelley talking about Anne moving out. She proceeds to grab ice, ignore what she just heard, and heads back to watch the movie.

 

* * *

 

The credits begin to roll over the laptop screen as Lindsey steals a glance at Emily. Emily had a lazy smile on her face which Emily took as a good sign she was feeling better. 

“I wish I had a make-out scene on a bed of roses. I mean without any of the thorns. Ha, wait. I’m a thorn.” Emily giggles before she wistfully sighs. She chose to ignore the fact that the person she fanaticized about wasn’t a teammate who was very taken. Nothing would shake her from the mood that a happy rom-com brought on. 

“So most likely gay?” Lindsey smiles as she asks.

“Probably.” Emily throws a pillow at her which Lindsey easily catches.

“I’m still wide awake, want to grab a beer down at the bar before we call it a night. By some miracle, it is only 11:30.” Emily nods in approval at Lindsey’s suggestion before getting up to slip shoes on.

They round the corner to the lobby, discussing the movie but stop when they see who is at the bar. Kelley and Alex.

“Huh.” Lindsey looks to Emily for a signal of what to do. With a shrug, Emily nods her for them to continue. Kelley’s back is towards them but Alex had spun around on her chair and notices them. 

“Horan. Sonny. Fancy seeing you here.” Alex says causing Kelley to freeze. Kelley didn't find Alex’s joke funny. 

Kelley uses her feet on the stool to slowly pivot and catches eyes with Emily. Kelley’s heart rate picks up, her heart clearly not getting the memo that it was supposed to be in pieces.   _Was that a small blush on Emily’s cheeks?_ She gives Emily a small smile that Emily returns with a wider one. _Fuck, I’m so screwed._ Kelley thinks before catching Lindsey’s eye. She got this eerie feeling that Lindsey was looking at her like she knew something.

Lindsey noticed the same panic and fatigue in Kelley’s eyes that seem to mirror Emily’s only a few hours ago. Maybe that was Kelley she overheard.

“Mind if we join? We just wanted to have a beer before we call it a night.” Lindsey asks the two veterans on the team.

Alex makes a grand gesture to the two seats beside them. “By all means. We were doing the same thing. How has your night off been?”

Lindsey takes the seat two down from Kelley leaving Emily with the only option to take the seat next to Kelley. “We explored some new things…around Salt Lake and then watched a movie. What about you guys?”

Emily gives Lindsey a death glare at her insinuation.

“Funny, we pretty much did the same thing.” Alex nudges Kelley who gave a small nod.

Kelley studies the two next to her and made the decision she was definitely imaging what she saw only a few hours before. She hears Lindsey order two beers and then she starts to hum a tune Kelley’s heard before. The words start to come to mind, _Imagine me and you. I do. I think about you day and night, it’s only right._ Although most people think of the song, Kelley thinks of one of her favorite movie. She was about to comment but stops when realizes that no one in her company has probably seen the lesbian movie.

Kelley finally finds words and looks over at Emily, “What movie did you guys end up watching?”

Emily pauses for a second before she shrugs in nonchalance, “Just some romcom.”

“Nice! I love rom coms, which one?” Alex leans into the bar to see Emily and Lindsey.  
  
“Uhh. Leap Year? Yeah, Leap Year!” Lindsey smirks to herself and Emily does everything in her power not to roll her eyes.

“Such a good movie. It makes me want to go to Ireland so badly. Does anyone know if they actually do the February 29th thing? Or was that something they thoughts of in Hollywood?” Alex ponders.

Lindsey goes to pull her hands up to show her uncertainty when her hand clips the beer bottle. “Shit!” Thankfully, Lindsey reaches the bottle before more than a few drops spill out. Kelley, Alex, and Emily all start laughing at Lindsey’s mistake. 

“Linds, you’re as useful as a fart in a jam jar.” Emily playfully bumps shoulder with Lindsey. Alex bursts out laughing again at the odd statement. 

But Kelley freezes for the second time in five minutes. _Did Emily actually just quote Imagine Me and You?_  She can feel her heart rate quicken as she looks between Lindsey and Emily trying to see if anything has changed. Kelley tries her best to subtly study Emily, looking for any sign she has been out early in the night.

 

 

 

 


	6. Much to teach you, I have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***IMPORTANT NOTE: I changed Kelley's ex-girlfriend's name to Alyssa instead of Anne and it will remain that way from here on out. I had chosen the name Anne randomly but someone pointed out that Anne is potentially one of Kelley's actual ex-girlfriend's name so, in order to not be creepy, I altered the name. 
> 
> In other happier news, I'm back from writer's block! Hooray. Be kind because I almost forgot how to even write this story :)

"Are you sure people are going to buy this?" Emily bites her lip. Kelley and Emily start their walk down to meet their teammates in the lobby for morning practice. 

 

An easy smile spreads over Kelley's face. "Absolutely." But her smile begins to falter and Kelley's eyes start to dim. "People believe what they want to see. Even in cases where something isn't there anymore."

 

"Kel?" Emily wasn't really sure what to say. It seems like Kelley words had a double meaning.

 

"Yeah?" Kelley turns back to face Emily and smiles which doesn't quite reach her eyes. She wants to kick herself for letting the comment slip. Her breakup with Alyssa was still fresh even if it was a long time coming. If only she had actually seen what wasn't there, would she have felt the weight lift off her shoulders months earlier? Kelley looks over at Emily as she eyes her with concern. "I'm good! I just meant people will totally buy it!" Kelley leans over and places a quick kiss on Emily's cheek to prove she was all on board. The brief contact with Emily's skin spread warmth through her chest and she immediately forgot her worries and woes about her breakup. But the sudden worry about this fake relationship was growing with each passing second. She felt like a shark in the water and the short, couple-styled moments with Emily were fresh blood. And boy, did she want more of a taste.

 

She shakes her head as Emily smiles over at her and asks. "Alright, so when is our first official so'hara moment going to take place?"

 

“Coffee?” Kelley asks nonchalantly. 

 

“Is your mind alway on coffee? No wonder you’re always so hyped up.” Emily shakes her head and smiles.

 

Kelley slings her arm around Emily’s shoulder. “No, I mean we can have a coffee date.” Emily pauses at the comment and Kelley quickly followed up. “I meant like a fake date...duh!”

 

“Okay!” Emily’s voice came out a slightly higher octave than she anticipated. _ For all that is good, pull it together.  _ She scolds herself. Kelley pulls her arm away and turns to walk backward.

__

“Come, young padawan. Much to teach you, I have.” Kelley imitates a Yoda voice, grabs Emily’s hand, and she proceeds to strut down the hallway towards the elevators.

 

_ How?! _ Emily thinks. How did the extreme nerdiness there make her feel even more for Kelley?

 

“Urgh, fine but you are actually buying my coffee if we are going to do this,” Emily says as she is pulled down the hallway. 

 

“Oh please, like pretend dating me is that awful. You’re just scared you are going to like it too much!” Kelley winks. 

 

“No one is going to believe we are together!” Emily avoids Kelley’s flirtatious comment and drags her feet, they were not quite to the elevator. She willingly chose to ignore the heat radiating up her arm from simply holding hands with Kelley.

“Loads of people!” Kelley rolls her eyes and scoffs. “I mean, come on. We’re adorable and we’ve got that chemistry.” Kelley nearly stutter steps at her words.  _ Oh my God _ , she panics,  _ had she really just said that out loud? _

 

She didn’t mean to say those words exactly. Her mind just has been wandering where it shouldn’t after she questioned her sanity and eyesight after the bar two nights ago. “I mean, we’ve got that bro vibe and the gay one so it’s only natural people ship us.”

 

“I don’t have a gay vibe?” Emily’s statement turns into a question by the end of it.

 

Kelley huffs. “Fine, you’re right. You don’t” She nearly growls the last two words trying to fight the extreme frustration with Emily’s straightness. “I’ve got the gay vibe and you get it by default. But Em, you legit have a fanny pack so yeah.”

 

“I do not! Wait...I do but I...whatever.” Emily wasn’t ready to give any indication of her sudden change in her perception of her sexuality. Emily begins to weigh her options again. Did she want to still go through with this fake relationship stuff? Emily hadn’t exactly planned on finding out she was into girls during this process. But then again, she definitely wasn’t into Kelley.  _ So no big deal, right? Absolutely not interested…totally. _

“I think the fans think we are just bros. That you’re teaching me your ways.” Emily pulls on Kelley’s arm to spin her around to face her.

Kelley stops walking and looked at Emily, as she quirks an eyebrow. She glances down at their intertwined hands and smiles. After only a split second of thought, Kelley decides to fully test their potentially chemistry of faking it. She takes a step closer to Emily. Their faces are only inches apart now and Kelley can feel the heat coming off of Emily.

“I could definitely teach you a thing of two.” Kelley leans in and whispers, nearly brushing her lips on Emily’s ear. She can almost swear she saw Emily shudder.  _ Man, she is a great actress Kelley thought as she wished the shudder was real. _ Kelley smiles sadly to herself before she pulls back to face Emily and gives her a quick wink.

Emily hates her body for the immediate reaction to Kelley toying with her. This was only Kelley acting the part she offered to play. “I…I meant bro things!” Emily’s voice nearly cracks.

 

* * *

  
  


Emily wanders the streets of Salt Lake with a smoothie in hand. She has an hour or two before she had to go back to the hotel. The team was traveling to California this afternoon for their first friendly. Her stomach starts to flutter when she thinks about it all. Not because they had an upcoming game, Emily was psyched. No, it was the scheduled coffee ‘date’ with Kelley tomorrow morning. 

 

Her head was so far in the clouds that she almost runs into the women walking in the opposite direction of her. Emily goes to apologize but stopped short. 

 

“Alyssa, what a pleasant surprise.” Emily tries to sound sincere. The fact that she is questionably jealous of this woman keeps her genuine excitement at a borderline non existent level. 

 

Alyssa looks at her with a deadpan expression. “Emily.”

 

_ Wow, _ she was actually fulfilling the role of an ice queen, a term Lindsey deemed of her.

 

“So not a pleasant surprise?” Emily isn’t exactly sure how to handle this interaction and it only just started. 

 

“You don’t have to be nice to me anymore.” Alyssa says cooly.

 

Now Emily is completely confused, “Because?”

 

Alyssa looks as if she was deciding between easing up on Emily or tearing into her and Emily wasn’t sure she could handle either. The stern look on Alyssa’s face signals that she had made up her mind. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know.” But Emily still looks at Alyssa like she had lost some of her marbles. “Kelley and I broke up. You don’t have to pretend to be friendly with me. I’m sure you are happy she is no longer with me.”

 

Emily’s eyes widen and she knows she should close her mouth but she is too shocked. “I’m sorry. Could you repeat that?”

 

“Are you that much of an ass? ...Or did you really not know?” Alyssa’s tone eases up and she begins to feel drained.

 

“No. I’m really sorry. I had no clue.  Are you doing okay?” Emily’s instinct is to reach out and touch Alyssa’s arm but she refrains.. 

 

Alyssa’s shoulders sag, “Not really. But I will be. It was a long time coming and I think we were the only two who didn’t see the divide between us. And by the look on your face, you definitely saw the incompatibility.”

 

Emily wants to kick herself. She has a tendency to wear her emotions on her sleeve. She has absolutely no poker face and it sometimes go her in trouble during games.  _ But at least it made for good memes _ she thinks and nearly smiles until she remembers who is in front of her. “I really just wanted you two to be happy.”

 

“No, you didn’t.” Alyssa says matter of fact. “I don’t mean that with spite. You wanted Kelley to be happy and if I was apart of that, you could deal.”

 

Seconds pass and Emily couldn’t think of a single thing to say. She opens her mouth and closes it. 

 

“I’m sorry I was always so rude to you. Really. I just saw that you make Kelley happier than I have in the last few months and I was just so angry about that…and I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.” She shifts the shopping bag in her one hand to the other. “I hope she’s genuinely happy.”

 

Emily nods her head and looks from side to side, unsure of what to do. 

 

“Maybe one day you’ll realize.” Alyssa shakes her head and gives Emily a small smile. “Have a good one, Emily.” 

 

Alyssa walks off to the other side of the street and around the corner. As she exits, Emily lightly waves her hand to say bye and tries to make sure her mouth doesn’t hang open.  _ What the hell just happened? Kelley and Alyssa broke up. Kelley is single. Holy shit. OH MY GOD.  _

 

Wait, what the hell does Alyssa think she need to realize? Emily wonders. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave kudos, comments, and follow my tumblr: heathbar17


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